What Makes us Different?

A couple of weeks ago at the Guilford County Schools magnet fair a family came to the booth where Peeler had set up among the other elementary magnet schools.  With children in tow, the young mom asked, "So what do you focus on at Peeler?"

I had spent the previous hour talking non-stop about the arts program at our school, the way teachers help children work together and think independently, and the characteristics that make our school special.  But when she asked me that question it was one of those moments where all the noise drops away and things seem to move in slow motion.  I thought for a few seconds and answered simply, "Kids."  She laughed a little and replied, "No, really.  What is your thing at Peeler?  What makes you special?"

I stood by my answer, explained how it's our focus on kids that sets us apart, and described  how our teachers put kids first.  It's magnet season, and I have been talking to new parents a lot about the school and our unique ways of doing things.   I would like to use this space to share with you what I am saying to new parents about our school.

At Peeler you just don't see teachers using the threats of punishments or the promises of rewards to force kids to behave in a certain way.  You are not going to see a behavior chart with everyone's name filled with smiley faces or frowny faces; you won't see a box of trinkets that students who have so many stars reach in and draw from. 

Instead, what you do see are teachers helping students understand and take responsibility for their behaviors.  You hear teachers asking kids what they might have done differently, what they should do to make amends with another child or teacher, how they can make a plan to do better.  At Peeler our teachers take a counseling approach to working with children instead of a punitive approach. We know that kids who are six years old are hard-wired to run when they see an open hallway.  We know that the pre-adolescents in the upper house are louder and are figuring out pecking orders and the dynamics of social conflict.  We make room here for kids to be kids.  When we see our children misbehaving, we see the behavior not as something to punish, but as evidence that we have more to teach this child. 

All too often schools treat the behaviors of children as pathological and deviant.  They enact policies to prevent kids from ever stepping out of line, and they hover and try to control every moment and detail of their actions and interactions. We try to find ways to give kids room to be who they are. 

It's not that there are not consequences for the mistakes that kids make, it's just that we know that we also have to teach kids to make the proper choices with persistence, patience, and intention. 

But at the same time I am explaining all of this to prospective parents, I also know that it is the end of winter, and the cruelty of February has worn on the patience of my staff and my students.  Nerves are jangly, tempers are short, and it's cold and wet outside.  We lose our temper.  We sometimes revert to threats in spite of our better selves.  I explain it isn't perfect and we all try our best to help kids learn to be responsible and to do the right things because they are the right things to do, but it is always a challenge and often messy.  I know, though, that it is this way of working with children that creates such a powerful culture among our students and I am lucky to be a part of it.